Homeschooling~How do they do it?

I used to wonder how they did it as well, and now that I’m homeschooling I’m met with a lot of positivity, always followed with a remark like “I just don’t think I could do that.” Or, “I don’t think I was made for that sort of thing.” Or, “My kids would hate to have to deal with me all day.”
I’ve thought the very same things.
When I was a youngster I thought homeschoolers were weird, but as an adult I see that it’s come a long, long way. We have the internet that makes a world of difference, connecting us to each other, to different curriculum and reviewer websites, and even school online.
Still, it can be very overwhelming to take your child’s learning into your own hands.
I was petrified.
It took me months to decide on what curriculum would work with my son who hates to write anything down on paper and has a very short attention span for anything not having to do with dragons.
It didn’t start off well at all. Each day was a battle. He had to get over his hatred for learning and I had to gain patience and better relationship with my son. I had to learn how to balance my younger children’s needs with his. I have a 2 year old and a 5 year old home with me as well.
I had to surrender to the fact that my home would have fewer days of cleanliness. I still work on that. I still wake up some mornings and think of all that I could accomplish and then remember that my son needs my time, some structure, and the discipline it takes for him to memorize his times tables and overcome his spelling difficulties.
But the wonderful and glorious part of homeschooling is that it’s my call! Yesterday we worked really hard. We had our noses in books for four hours. But today? Today started out with piano, and then we decided we needed to bake. I was making a pie for my husband’s fire fighting crew and Coby found a recipe in a book he was reading.
I told him he was entirely in charge of it. I would not be helping unless he asked. He felt pretty cool. “Mom,” he said, “do guys really need to know how to cook?”
“Oh yes,” I replied. “It’s very cool for guys to know how to cook.”
We loaded up the van and headed to the grocery store, with me quizzing him on his bane, multiplication tables. (He WILL have them memorized someday!)
I just watched my son make his first “Quick After-Battle Chocolate Cake.” I’m bursting with love for him…but of course I can’t tell him that because he’ll just roll his eyes and get embarrassed. (He read this over my shoulder and did indeed incorporate an eye roll.)



I guess my point is, I think the way we manage, the way I manage is to take it one day at a time; to make big plans and schedules but to know when to back off.
To try and be happy that my house is lived in, and remember that my children are becoming more helpful and self-sufficient by the day and I won’t always feel like I’m here in the trenches.
Aren’t they worth it?

Back in the Saddle...or in my case running shoes!

It took my body quite awhile to love running like my mind did.
I know, some people shudder at the very idea of it. To them I will say:
There comes a point after possibly months of frustration where your body can actually handle 30minutes of constant running, and after that maybe 40, then 50, and all of a sudden an hour has gone by and you can’t believe the ease at which your body can perform.
I don’t think I ever realized what a runner’s high was until I ran my first half marathon. I can say I ran myself into the ground that day. I didn’t think I’d make it to the car afterwards and I KNEW I would crash once I got home.
The weird part was when I tried to lay down for a nap that day and I could not sleep. My heart was racing, my blood was pumping. I felt so alive. I got up and cleaned my house, played with my kids. I felt great!
It’s been too long since I’ve gotten serious about running. I consciously took November and December off but started up again in January. It just wasn’t feeling good. Nothing was hurting specifically, just my whole body. I wasn’t getting the energy that I had from running previously. I felt run down and sick, like my body was on the verge of illness.
My throat started hurting, in a weird way. Like a big ball of mucus was pushing on my gag reflex. Some nights I would be in my bathroom gagging into the toilet or sink, unable to control it. We don’t have insurance so it was 10 weeks before I went to a walk-in clinic. When the nice doctor came in I broke down. It was embarrassing but I felt so relieved to be talking to someone. After seeing a few different doctors and getting my blood tested we have collectively diagnosed me with hyperthyroidism.
It’s taken me awhile to feel good. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like not to be tired. But I drive by this trail everyday where I had my first epic run. I can see myself in my trusty blue short and my tank top, knobby knees pounding the ground, arms flapping. That silly grin I can’t help wearing. I remember what it feels like to fly. I miss it. And there are only 15 weeks till my favorite race. I wouldn’t miss this race for all the normally functioning thyroids in the world.
Tomorrow will be my first day back to serious training. I can’t wait.

Good Reading

I love to read. I would curl up with a good book over any movie, any day...The problem I've had is finding enough books to keep me interested. I am usually in the midst of a few books at a time. Something historic, like George Washington's biography by Washington Irving sits on my shelf, I'm a few chapters in and I like to view books like this as school for myself. They aren't something I'd pick up first, and not a quick read, but I'm fascinated with the way this country runs and it's history. I blame West Wing for this. And I've always wanted to further my education, what better way than a book? I've made a commitment to myself that I would read a book about each American president. My dad is also a history buff and says that even though this biography might be harder and longer to read, it's probably the best choice for really knowing George Washington. King Rat by James Clavell is also on my shelf. I'm re-reading it. It's one of my favorites. I feel the need to re-read the books I already own and love. They look so lonely and unloved on my book shelves downstairs. I have to give them turns in my room on the little bookshelves near my bed, and remind them why I love them so. This book is one that I can read at least once every couple of years and be amazed again as the author takes me behind the scenes of a Word War II prison camp in Japan. Warning:It's not a light read, and there are many "grotesquities," as I like to call them. (I believe Christian Slater coined that phrase in the early nineties.) But this story does take place in a PRISON CAMP. Where men are packed in like sardines, food is scarce, and there is a hierarchy, only the most cunning and clever survive. Then I have my fluff pieces, these are the books that I can get through in 2 days, 3 at the most. Like written movies I feel the need to devour these books in one setting, much to my kitchen's dismay. The subject matter of these books varies, fluff to me doesn't mean poorly written, to me it is an easy read and an uncomplicated subject matter. Good guys, bad guys, conflicted love interest...It could be anything; a great mystery, a romance, historical fiction, science fiction. Okay there is a thread, they are all fictional. Here's what I read last night and this morning and you can read my review here. Let me say something about the Great and Dying book. I'm torn, I know moving to ebooks saves trees and space and printing, but there is something about seeing my books on the shelves, holding them in my hands, smelling the pages. I don't think I'll ever want that to change. All this talk about the death of the printed word saddens me. Lastly my book club book this month is Alice in Wonderland and Alice through the Looking Glass, I love my book club. I joined when I moved to this forsaken place (joking. This is a blessed land, but the weather sucks.) and I've been going every month since. Our core group of women love reading and they all bring something to the table. I love my book club ladies like I love my books. And we aren't exclusive, anyone is invited to join. I'll be posting more often about the books I'm reading. Share with me your favorites!

thirties, flirty, and fun

I remember when I first saw the movie 13 going on 30, when Jennifer Gardner's character couldn't wait to turn 30, where her life would obviously be fabulous, and at a very low point of her 13th birthday she ran into her closet and wished herself to be thirty, chanting the words "30, flirty, and fun! 30, flirty, and fun."
Why did she pick 30? I wondered. Was it just because it rhymed with the word 'flirty'?
That movie came out 6 years ago. I was 28, and I wasn't excited to be in my thirties.
Now I'm four years into them, and during a conversation with some friends over brunch the other morning, we all agreed that we were so happy when our thirties came around, so happy our roaring twenties were over.
There's been a shift in my home, I don't know if the kids realize it's happened. I don't know if my husband can put his thumb on it. I don't know if I can chalk it up to being in my thirties or being done with my child birthing stage.
Maybe it's everything all at once.
It's weird because we are still not financially stable, my husband is still in the process of changing career's. There are many unknowns.
Also where I thought at this time in my life I would have 2 full time public school students which meant more ME time, instead I find myself homeschooling my oldest son. After a rough couple of months (and that's putting it lightly) we've hit our stride and I can honestly say that it is one of the most rewarding decisions I've ever made.
There is a certain peace I feel inside, a comfortableness in my skin, a calmness about things that would have once driven me crazy.
I would chalk it up to being a late bloomer but as I said before, most women have concurred with me on the subject.
There's just something strange and wonderful about this time in my life, and I'm trying to enjoy every day of it.

Where've I been...

I don't ever post. It's hard to because when I do have time on the computer I want to read about others and escape my life for a few minutes, not reflect on it.
There have been many many changes around here.
I'm homeschooling my oldest. He's in fourth grade. It hasn't been an easy transition.
At this point in my life I expected to have 2 children in full time school and one in preschool 3 days a week for 2.5 hours.
You know what they say about best laid plans.
My oldest struggled in school, not necessarily academically but certainly with the mundane and pointless work he was given to do.
He struggled socially. He's a bit eccentric and uses big words and concepts no normal third graders understand. He fit in better with kids in the "gifted" ( I struggle with that label) program but I hesitate to put him in something that may lead to more homework.
I know I made the right choice. The more I read about what I can do and the advantages of homeschooling the more excited I get. Of course now it's implementing those changes and hoping for a co-operative son. Right now he's transitioning as well. It's hard for him to get used to the fact that just because he's home, it doesn't mean he can lay around and play video games all day. And I don't let him get away with something he might be able to in a classroom with 22 other children. It's baby steps really. I get amazingly stressed out when I talk to parents of public schoolers. They want to know how we're doing and I feel like I have to assure them that my son is learning. I feel like I have to account for our time.
I talk to parents of homeschoolers and they're so relaxed. They assure me that this will take time. That we are getting used to it. It could take a year. I love homeschooling moms.
Right now it's baby steps. He goes to an elective program for a day and a half where he interacts with other homeschool kids during his Drama, P.E., Math Games, Art, and Themes classes. Then the rest of the week we do a science experiment and Math every day. That's it for now. He reads every night and I have trouble keeping up with his need for new books.
The other challenge I face is that he is around his 5 year old brother more often and this leads to more arguments.
Also, I started this school year with my husband being gone every weekend from Friday early afternoon to Sunday night. He has Fire Academy training for 10 weeks. We're excited, happy, anxious for him to be done. I started out really strong. Hardly missing him and then he was back. That was the end of summer when the kids and I could be outside until dinner. Now sometimes we're stuck in the house all day and they love playing imaginary games that involve screaming and by the end of the weekend I feel like I'm dying inside. It's been 6 weeks. He's not home yet...I'm waiting. I need him. It's been hard.
I really thought it would be a piece of cake and I was strong enough but I feel like I'm falling apart, losing my creativity and my energy.
It's been hard for him living in two worlds. He comes home and has to study for the written exams he'll be taking the following weekend. He tries to balance quality time with the four children, work to pay our bills, and have time to study. He's amazing but he had a moment recently where he broke down. Two days later he told me he's really closing his wood shop. That is a huge deal. I was strong for him in that moment. But since then I've slowly been falling to pieces inside.
I am trying to keep the future in sight. He will get a job soon as a Fire fighter. I have faith in him. I'm trying to have faith in God, that these hits won't keep happening to our family.
I'm trying to play Polyanna and focus on the good. He's excelling in his Academy, the kids are healthy, I'm healthy. I have wonderful friends and family close by. We LOVE EACH OTHER.
But the fear and doubt creep in sometimes.
I'm just trying to keep the house together and be strong and positive for the kids.
Even my running has lost its savor lately.
My friends are planning a midnight run in Seattle this weekend and I'm hoping that will edify me.
For now I guess I'll continue to take it a day at a time.
Be well.

Nowhere To Go But Up

That really should be my life's mantra.
I finished my race and I'm proud of the way I ran, even though I didn't run as fast as I hoped for.
It was an extremely tough route, I'm not making excuses. But I think for my first race it was very ambitious.
I have to admit I was very disappointed with my placing in the race and my mile time. But honestly it only makes me want to try harder and do better. I have printed out my results and will keep them in a safe place until next year, when I put myself through that same torture again. Because I'm not satisfied with leaving it the way it is...and now I know what to expect.
There is a girl I know who ran it. She placed fifth over all females, first in her age group. I'm going to keep my eye on her. She is tall and lanky like me. She probably doesn't shovel as much junk food in her mouth as I do. I'm going to "man up" and start running with her. I was scared to at first and now I'm just in awe. I want to know what her secret is.
So I'm going for a run now, it's hills again today and I'm going to push myself. I'm going to pretend she's running with me.
I did love the race, I loved the finish line. I think I will do a few more 10k's and 5k's before the summer is over because I had a lot of fun!

It's My Time

For five years now I have lived in this home,
and for five years I have woken up on the first Saturday of June and watched as a group of crazy people run passed my house.
The town that I live in is built into some rather large hills. The people of the town thought it would be fun to organize a run that went 3 miles up, then 3 miles down.
For five years I have cheered with my children for the people that are braving this run, and each year I have thought...maybe next year? Maybe next year I'll be strong enough to do that.
I have questioned my strength right up until the last minute, but last Tuesday I paid the $25 fee and now I WILL run this race.
After five years of wondering if I could ever do something like it I'm going to take the plunge.
It's my time now.